Recently, my therapist gave me a powerful challenge: to write down what I bring to the table and remind myself of these qualities several times a day. This exercise is part of a larger effort to break free from my addiction to my husband, who has repeatedly failed to recognize my worth. It’s a difficult task, but one that has already begun to shift my perspective.
At first, I found it hard to acknowledge my strengths and contributions. Years of trying to please someone who rarely appreciated my efforts had taken a toll on my self-esteem. But as I sat down to write, I realized how much I offer—my kindness, my dedication, my ability to nurture and support those around me. I bring intelligence, creativity, and resilience to every situation, and I deserve to be recognized for these qualities.
My therapist emphasized the importance of seeing my own worth when my husband fails to. She encouraged me to rely on self-love rather than seeking validation from someone who is incapable of providing it. This has been a profound lesson. By focusing on my own strengths and reminding myself of them daily, I’m starting to build a stronger foundation of self-worth that isn’t dependent on external approval.
This practice of self-affirmation is helping me break the cycle of seeking love and validation from someone who cannot offer it. Instead, I’m learning to love and value myself. It’s a journey, but each day, I feel a bit more empowered and a bit less reliant on someone else’s perception of my worth. This challenge is teaching me that true self-love and recognition must come from within, and that I am more than enough on my own.
My list of what I bring to the table:
- Motivation: I am typically a pretty motivated individual, always encouraging those around me. I also thrive on setting goals in every aspect of my life.
- Financial Independence: I make a decent living as an influencer and never ask anybody to finance my lifestyle. In fact, I have always been more than generous with my husband when it came to loaning him money, paying for dinners at restaurants, and even taking us on extravagant trips.
- Empathy: I’ve always been someone who feels deeply for those around me. When friends or family are going through tough times, I instinctively put myself in their shoes and try to understand their emotions. It’s important to me to offer support and a listening ear, helping them feel heard and cared for. My empathy allows me to connect with people on a meaningful level, fostering stronger relationships and a sense of community.
- Humor: I love bringing a sense of humor to any situation. Whether it’s a family gathering or a casual hangout with friends, I enjoy making people laugh and lightening the mood. My ability to find humor in everyday moments helps everyone feel more relaxed and connected. It’s amazing how a little laughter can bring people together and make tough times a bit more bearable.
- Love: I love with my whole heart in everything I do. Whether it’s with family, friends, or in my relationships, I put all my energy and care into making sure the people I love feel cherished and supported. It’s important to me to show up fully and be there through thick and thin.
- Adventure: I love adventure and spontaneity, always ready to embrace the unexpected. Whether it’s convincing my partner to visit quirky spots like the Mr. Peanut statue in Fort Mill, AR, or exploring the beard museum in Peoria, IL, I’m all about making memories in the most unusual places. It’s the thrill of the unknown and the joy of discovering hidden gems that keep life exciting. My enthusiasm for these offbeat adventures adds a fun, unpredictable element to our journeys, making every trip unforgettable.
- Emotional Support: I care deeply for my partner and everyone around me. Whether it’s offering a listening ear, a comforting hug, or simply being present, I always strive to make sure those I love feel valued and supported. My partner and friends know they can count on me to be there no matter what.
- Homemade Cooking: I absolutely love making homemade, scratch-made meals for my partner and family. There’s something incredibly satisfying about preparing each dish from scratch, knowing that I’m using fresh ingredients and putting my heart into every recipe. From the aroma of a simmering stew to the warmth of a freshly baked pie, cooking these meals is my way of showing love and care. Sharing these homemade creations around the table not only brings us together but also fills our home with a sense of comfort and joy.
- Teamwork: In my relationship, I really value teamwork. I believe that working together and supporting each other is key to a strong partnership. Whether we’re handling household tasks, making decisions, or facing challenges, I’m always ready to share the load and collaborate. By keeping communication open and appreciating each other’s efforts, we ensure that we’re both actively involved in making our relationship work.
- Communication: I really prioritize open and honest communication. I believe that talking things through and sharing our thoughts and feelings helps us stay connected and resolve issues effectively. Whether it’s discussing our goals, addressing concerns, or just checking in with each other, I make sure to keep the lines of communication open. This commitment to clear and respectful dialogue helps build trust and ensures that we’re always on the same page, making our relationship stronger and more resilient.
- Devotion: I am deeply devoted and loyal to my partner, always striving to be there for them through every high and low. My commitment means prioritizing their needs, offering unwavering support, and standing by them in both joyful and challenging times. I believe in nurturing our relationship with trust and dedication, and I’m always ready to work together to strengthen our bond. I was highly devoted to my husband, despite his years of mental and emotional abuse. I stuck by him through his cheating, his outbursts, and more.
I’ve come to realize that while I am far from perfect, I have a lot to offer. My imperfections are a part of who I am, but they don’t define my worth. I am always striving to grow and improve, which means I’m open to learning from my experiences and continuously working on becoming a better version of myself. Writing down and reflecting on my qualities helps me recognize the value I bring to my relationships and my own life, independent of external validation.
This process is teaching me to value my own strengths and embrace my journey of personal growth. It’s not about being perfect but about acknowledging my efforts and the positive impact I have. By focusing on my own qualities and celebrating my progress, I’m learning to build a stronger sense of self-worth and resilience. This practice is reminding me that I am deserving of love and respect, not just from others but from myself as well.
